last comment on the troll

I guess the troll sounded as if he had a problem anyway. Just the way he repeated the same damn shit as he had the first time around was enough. The only thing that did surprise me about him was that he didn't bother to deny that it was him the first time round. He must have known his thread had been deleted. Maybe he thought it'd just been moved somewhere to an old threads forum or something. And you can have secret forums on Ezboard too that don't show up on the forum list to anyone except members of the secret forum, not even other members of the board. And I suppose it was always possible that he'd been caught out that way before. Saying it wasn't him so he hadn't said what people were saying he had and then someone had produced his thread from a hidden admins forum or something.

But it did surprize me that he didn't deny he was the one who'd been there before. I would be very surprized if he hadn't noticed that his last thread was missing from the board. Maybe he had been caught out before. I doubt if he'd've thought his thread had been removed for examination because it wasn't long enough. He'd left pretty early when he came by with his other account, probably things had got busy over another board he was trolling and he'd left us for better things. I don't know if he was trolling another board while he was posting on our board this time, I suppose it was possible that he still had more accounts on the go on Ezboard and he was gone a fair time between posts. We obviously interested him quite a bit though because he stayed reading the board quite a long time after he couldn't post anymore.

He deleted the account he used for the first visit I saw him on the board. The name he used interested me so I thought I'd try and join Ezboard using that name, the one the same as his but without the number at the end and see who else was using it. But when I went to join I forgot I was taking the number off and typed the name he'd used when he joined our board. And what d'ya know ... the name was free, so he'd deleted that account for some reason or other. I wouldn't have thought he'd've deleted it because of anything that had happed on our board because I was the only person there talking to him and I hadn't behaved much differently than when he'd visited this time. I suppose he could've had a good night's trolling and had trouble with ezboard and had delelted his account with us hoping he wouldn't be found there as well. He would've been actually but maybe he didn't know that. It was odd that he was using an account from three years before so maybe there had been some trouble with Ezboard. But there was nothing posted up by them to say that he had been banned by them.

Who knows?? I don't know enough about the system to know if there are other options.

He obviously did have some problem though because of the way he was repeating himself, though I'd say he had been trolling the boards for some time, not just because of his old account, but also because he had replying to people down pat. You'd think he spent ages practicing. Years probably.

I've noticed that people who do this kind of thing often repeat themselves just like he did. I suppose it's simpler than having to be inventive but it does make them sound robotic. It's really just another sign that there's something possibly not quite right. Or just laziness. Who knows.

You can't really do much with this kind of person. Therapy doesn't often work because instead of learning how to improve their behaviour they sit there and gather information which will help them understand other people better so that they can continue trying to undermine them with more sucess. Do they know it's wrong? Yes, ofcourse they do but they chose to do it anyway. It's a personality disorder rather than a mental illness. I suppose the level of understanding does correspond with levels of different kinds of inteligence, but most have a fairly good understanding of what's right and wrong.

I know the boards tend to get them around in clutches. But I don't think the two I saw on the board The Friendly Guy and last nights one were aware of each other. I'm not sure about the Cuban Guy, he had language problems and the phrase he'd been banned for using he'd used replying to a question that someone had put to him using that phrase. And he came from a different culture where women had been seen as being a useful part of the revolution and this might have caused some problems together with his limited use of language and method of speech. I don't know. He had been accused of doing things he hadn't done as well which might have made him angry.

But the other two definitely were. The Helpful Guy had used the board's Ezboard Supporter's icon without having paid to for the privilidge and Ezboard had banned him from all their boards. Wonder how they found that out with all the people out there on the boards.

The one who visited twice certainly was to .... "All women are parasites blah di blah di blah" Not exactly subtle and yet he could keep the retorts going. Something else happened that you think might connect to him but I'm pretty sure didn't and that was that two members from other boards turned up and stayed and watched while he was trolling and then left after he'd stopped posting. I knew one from a private board I was a member of and I guess still am probaby but I'm never back there reading or posting, not for any reason other than we didn't have too much in common but it was quite nice to hang round on for a while. They talked America with more than a touch of religion, they weren't bigots in any way, I just didn't have much to add to the connversation not living just up stream from any of them and so I couldn't join in talking about local customs or anything. And that's how quite a bit of the board used to go. I also met her on another board where she was fine but it still left me feeling a bit lost because a lot of it was bound up talking about parts of the country that I didn't know and where they were going to go and what they were going to do for holidays and weekends. And they went on lots of trips together if they lived nearby each other.

Another person came by and watched too who I've seen visiting a few times. I was quite surprized because we hardly ever have two members from other boards reading the board at once, but it was just one of those things, they'd just happened to turn up to see that. And we didn't have lots of guests reading either. If we had we could have welcomed them and asked them if they wanted a cyber cup of tea.

Cup o tea anyone?

Our board is slowing right down anyway. I started a new thread yesterday ... and it wasn't about music .. yay me!! and Beach and Kristi stopped by to post in it. And Kristi started a new one which might start a book club over there if anyone wants to read the book. I might. Last time I said I would she just got so busy and I didn't get round to it either. The board needs more threads. It needs a few more members too and a bit more fun going on there, but not the kind of member like Mr "all women are parasites" not the kind of "fun" he brought with him, it just gets tedious.

Editing

Have altered the post on the trolls on the board to include more information. Been adding to it this time rather deleting.

Long may this last. Well, in general. There are times when some posts just have to go!! Epecially if they're in the middle of a deleting scrap. It's all part of making up afterwards. These days though I don't do deleting scraps, just disappear for a while instead. Done that for long enough and finding it didn't really help much so .............................................. on to next strategy.

Not one for arguments really. They take up too much time wben you could be doing other things you'd prefer to be doing,

Best if u don't to have friends who don't too or they'll soon find themselves arguing by themselves cause u can always leave the room and potter off to find something that interests you,

Or they can choose to talk calmly and sort things out. I don't mind sort of funny arguments when you're just sort of arguing a point and ur friendly with it and I'll reason out politics and things like that.

But I ain't wasting my time arguing for the sake of an argument.

trolls and all

There's been a bit of talk over at the board about trolls and similarly related issues. I'm sure the troll that's just been on the board is the same one that I mailed Kristi about last time he was on the board. She managed to ban him and delete the thread he'd started on his previous visit. Guess there was a hitch on the board last night because he got back in past the 3 posts a day limit that's set up for the first 15 posts. I know the 3 posts a day for a while limitation puts people off posting because it seems that you can't just post how you'd like for a while, but it stops spamming and it guards against impulse trolling. I'd noticed that the board had been a bit slow earlier when trying to post on the day that Beach tried to ban the guy, it'd worked when Kristi deleted his thread and banned him when he was using another account and profile to get onto the board a couple of weeks ago, so I guess when Beach tried there was some trouble that was related to the boards slowness when trying to post a bit earlier in the day because the banning thing for our board wasn't working.

She's just about to move so hasn't time to monitor the boards at the moment and lots of other people are working hard with other things going on in their lives right now or having a computer problems or away travelling or on holiday. So it's easier just to make the board private for a little while.

These troll infestations seem to happen from time to time and they go round a few boards so I guess one starts the others off or they all come from the same place. There used to be a board that produced a number of them and you'd get three or four of them travelling the boards. I didn't see what the one Sword of Honour warned Bb about because the thread he'd started had been deleted before I got back to the board after s/he'd posted. I miss some of them I guess because of the time difference between here and the States. I'm often sleeping while the trolls are out there posting on the boards if they're from America. so I miss the American ones if one of the admins gets in and decides to delete the whole thread before I've seen it. It was only because I was up in the early hours that I saw this last trolls other thread. I was the only person other than him on the board at the time and that's when I said that I wondered if he was a spacey alien because his observations didn't seem to have that much to do with women on this planet so wondered if he'd ever met any. He'd trotted out the same shit about women being parasites and not able to work without supervision that time too.

One thing I have noticed about people like him that come trolling the boards is that most don't seem to have much of a sense of good humour or imagination. This one seemed to make a habit of taking sentences from what had been written and using them as if they were his own thoughts. Heaven knows what would have happened if he'd been allowed to stay longer. He was disappearing too for short times on his second visit, I wondered if he was going back to another board, sort of simultaneous trolling. It's really best just to leave them,ignore the thread and delete and ban when a mod arrives. No good getting wound up about it, which I didn't. Just spent the time trying to engage him in pleasant conversation. He didn't even seem to be able to get into the fact that the conversation was slightly different from one that you might have thought he would expect. Which funily enough did make him sound a bit like a programme rather than a person.

I suppose it's still on the net somewhere, but there used to be a programme on the net where u could try and date one of the characters on the site which was infact a programme designed to answer your questions. I guess by having something like a lexicon in the programme. Can't remember that much about it now. One of the people I was on a message board with at the time found it, guess it was probably Metafilter, they often tend to find things like this. They were responsible for me finding Netives.I've totally forgiven them about that now. The dating thing was very clever though and funny at times because everyone started thinking up of questions that were guaranteed to get strange answers.

I hardly ever go back to Metafilter even to read now. But I have found two excellent general boards that I have't seen before, one's a UK board with lots of people posting which is cool because then you can go to board meets if you feel like it. Been to a couple of meets from another board and they were pretty funny and with this board, pretty good. If you've been a member of the board for a while and like the person it can seem surreal to be chatting with a person IRL you've only talked to on a message board before ...... but only for 30 seconds or something. You must be very careful with these things though because people can form any id over the internet over a period of time and manipulate you into trusting them.

It just made me think though that the type of behaviour the troll was showing makes other people a bit edgy and reduces trust. I know because talking this over and a couple of other things as well made me think about how it affects my behaviour too as well as other peoples.

Obviously some people leave no room for doubt. You know they are deliberately trying to upset you. Things like people who don't know you saying nasty things within your earshot just confirms that they are bullies. There are obvious things like that. And it's people like that who make it harder to trust other people. I guess that is part of their intention as well as hurting other people emotionally.

It's nothing I've ever done. Never had to because however bad my life has been I suppose I haven't felt any need to pry into other people's lives. I have my own life to live with my friends and acquiantances and hoping that we'll get along and that there won't be that many misunderstandings and quarrels and things. Otherwise I try to be friendly to other people and on a wider scale involve myself with human rights to fight abuse.

The talking on the board today and from a little while ago in private there too, in chat and things, made me realise how this does affect us sometimes and make us a bit more jumpy at times that we need to be with some of the people in our personal lives.

Wonderful doctor

My doctor is just so wonderful. I realise that things would have got a lot worse if he hadn't spent time chasing up specialists for me and getting information from them. And checking on me by phoning me here at home to make sure I was ok and doing all the things that I should be doing. And always having time for me and making sure that I realised that I could talk to him anytime during surgery hours.

He's saved things from getting much worse by being so conscientious.

People are surprized when I tell them how much he's done to stop my illness getting worse which he could have done very easily.

It's been painful enough as it is.

Just taken me latest lot of pain relief. Am off out for a while, then back to carry on sorting the flat out.

returning

And when I get back it will be to a mix of all kinds of things. It's up to me what I do so I'll be doing all kinds of things because that's what keeps me going best.

Ultimately I have to rely on myself. Zosha told me that and she's right. Knowing that I'll be back in just over a week sent a surge of energy through me, not knocking out the illness but just looking forward to how I'm going to spend my time, what I'll be doing.

There's been a rearranging of priorities as I realise the truth of Zosha's words. Other people will mess you around, don't mess yourself around.

It's fine being trusting but don't give your trust until you know the other person has shown you that you can trust them. It was a psychic who told showed me the roads around this type of thinking and he made me realise that either I didn't give my trust which happens more and more these days or I give it too easily.

Work will depend on my input, what I do to interest my mind, it'll be like feeding it books and experiences will it'll turn into something else or wil use to influence how things grow. A lot of my understanding has grown from what this man said to me.

For me. music is often the catalyst but there will have to be other things milling through my head in thoughs and as the result of things I've done. I hope to go into mediation too and meditational journeys. I did two at the place I went too and they have shown me that while I don't remember my dreams I can take myself on a meditational journey, I've done it with input from someone else, though not much, I'd imagine that I could do it alone too.

These are things that I can do myself. The meditational journeys that I was accompanied on have probably shown me a new way to use my mind, to expand it. Everything has been in a kind of step by step sequence. Or at least that's the way I see it.

One part of my life I'm not sure about, if I've interpreted it properly then everything should work out happily I think. If not then it's up to me to turn other bits of my life into something good enough to fill the gap.

There is always a chance that I've been played with. If not then I take it everything will be fine and what I could see is what's there. I can see that it should work well, with creativity shared around and a very happy situation growing.

If I find that I was just being played for what would look like people wanting to keep their names on the end of people's tongues, sort of publicity within the business, then that is how it is I was being shown false emotion and being shown something that was purely a lying creation of the mind rather than a true one of heart and mind. I've nothing to worry about and will just come to the understanding that I will start on a new journey of discovery and see where that leads me. The pain won't be the same knowing that the people were infact lying to you and were false so that you were loving people who don't really exist because a person is there mind and body and if the mind is presented as something it's not then the person or people you thought you were in love with don't exist, there bodies house a totally different personality that is not what you fell in love with.

And I won't be as affected as I once was. I started thinking being me was a bind and a bit of a drag where I'd probably have to compromise, which in itself isn't bad but still wouldn't be being true to my feelings but I would still live it and be happy. And, in fact,be happier than a lot of people who had more chance of being in the type of basic relationship they wanted to be in but after that the odds are more in my favour with the right person as I would use my creativity and my happiness at being alone being much the same as being with someone to build the blocks of a good relationship. Being much more aware than I was before. I would still feel something was missing because my relationship would not have the base I should have and I would always be aware of that but there are other ways of compensating and buildin different things into the relationship.

I'm told that what I want is not so unusual. Simone de Beauvoire and Jean Paul Sartre were introduced to me as an example of a people who lived with one other person and while I would want to be with people my own age group and as a family it seems that my genetic makeup isn't that unusual. A friend said that I would be a premium because single women who want to live in an equal family like this are not easily found. And she said, you'd be nice to live with. So that's how it is. The worry that was there has gone I know I can adapt into a couple of styles of relationships. And that the one I would like best will not be as hard for me to find as I thought it. would be.

As I've said I would prefer to live the type of family that I want but if that isn't possible I know I'll be able to live in a lesbian relationship that is a sort of nucleur family too and build up enough parts f it to feel happy and make my partner happy too. I'm told that I should have no problems if I find out that what's been happening is just a game and a joke and the people's minds are far different from what they are putting them out as.

hmmm

Iliania hasn't posted anywhere else after she visited the board. Wonder what's happened there, but she is a student and I believe in the USA term times are different and the summer holidays are just about to end so that might explain why some people are so quiet.

And some people don't seem to wanna post on the neffing threads. I'm not sure why but they don't. And there are all kinds of things happening with other people there. But is quiet and when people are around we need more threads.

I tend to do music threads and Kristi is really the only person there, other than me, who's interested in rock music and popular music in general. And she doesn't have much time at the moment so we just stay in contact off the board.

I post on other boards too but that one was me first port of call this time round when off out around the boards on the net again.

All to myself

I think I've the board to myself at the moment. Beach is moving and has a lot of other problems to cope with and so do a lot of other people right now. It'll probably pick up again later. I keep in touch with a couple of people off the board. And Kristi's back today which is pretty cool. I find I sort of miss her when she's away sometimes.

But I'll carry on posting to the music thread and stuff there!!!! It's my board now for a while. H

Hehe.

The tumbleweed's rolling

The tumbleweed's rolling through Empower at the moment. People are away or just very busy right now. I post on a number of boards and think I might concentrate on them. People who've joined that board recently haven't stayed for very long and I think that's because there's nothing much happening there.

New threads are hardly ever started. I was going to start a whole bunch of them but if people ain't there at the moment there's not much point really. But I might give it a go. Just be the threads I post at other places, just general ones about music and general things.

The board's just too slow right now. Will go for a while and post what I eat for breakfast and what's going down with the weather and things. And what I'm listening to. And maybe put the threads up just to see what happens.

There's just more general chat on the other boards. Human rights and things get discussed but along with a lot of other things. And it makes for easier discussion.

It's more like IRL. You talk about a lot of things. And people are interested in feminism and other branches of human rights too. But there's a lot of other things to discuss as well. And more people and it does kind of make things easier.

Sometimes

Sometimes I feel like a branch of fricking international rescue.