Goodbye

I went over to the nursing home where my relative died this afternoon to say goodbye. I hadn't been over for a while but thought I'd look in with the usual tin of chocs.

Nice to be there. One of the things I wished after she'd died was that I could somehow acquire the personality to be able to look after people like I'd seen the staff there do. I certainly couldn't when I was going over there before. I couldn't understand how to interact in the way the staff did. What I found this time was that I was obviously a lot more relaxed and felt at ease there. The place is so great too.

I gave over a £1000 to the home after she died just to say thankyou for giving her the freedom she wanted in the last year or so of her life. And I know how hard it was for them because she was very difficult to look after. She had a lot of illnesses including Lewy Bodies dementia and she was a bit on the fiesty side to put it mildly at times. The place was good then, better than most places I'd heard about, but, my, you should see it now. Then it was still in the throes of being transformed from the place it was when the new owner had taken it over. He'd done this out of kindness when asked to save the home. The place he took over was in a dreadful state and was being closed down. To see how it's been transformed is remarkable, he's ploughed so much into it and the place has always employed more staff than is set down by law.

What they bought with the money were three wooden beach type huts and a selection of very strong wooden outside tables in different sizes, benches, chairs and sun umbrellas for the garden. The beach huts have been turned into occupational therapy huts. One is a gardening hut with gardening things in it, seeds and seed trays and a wheelbarrow and stuff like that, another is a beach hut that has sand on the floor and the other is a "pub" which is being transformed now and is about ready as summer comes in. The residents can go and get some squash or something here.

The tables and benches, chairs and umbrellas that have been chosen are brilliant too.

I spoke to someone who's husband had just gone in there. I told her it was a wonderful place. I went in this time and could see that you would hardly recognise it as a place for people with severe dementia. Just wonderful. I was going to ask for pen and paper to copy down some of the things that had been pinned up on the wall. You know little pieces of prose along the lines of "I am still here" about being able to reach someone through the curtain of dementia.

The place is so marvellous. As I said it was brilliant before but it is just out of this world now.

I felt at ease and happy there, didn't have to think about how I was interacting with the residents there, it just came naturally. I could remember how people are affected with this illness and responding to them naturally within those limits was easy. There was a very relaxed feel there as well.

They put some old time music on, Ma, He's Making Eyes At Me was on and I couldn't help going into a little song and dance routine as I was leaving. It was that relaxed and great there. And I know how they enjoy all that. I could have gone over there and asked if I could help do some musical afternoons cause they love them and it's quite expensive to get someone in professionally.

It was just great and I really wouldn't have minded doing something like that. So, I'd wished almost that I would learn to be able to help somewhere like that and interact well with the residents.

And I think I can now.

I think it's because I'm more relaxed or something like that.