A reading

I chose to have a reading today. Not because I think that someone's going to lay my future out before me but because I wanted to start looking towards the future again and have a focus to think around. I find that, for me, this is a good way to do it. For other people it might be talking to friends and family, or, as I've seen, chatting over the net one way or another, or going for counselling, or just thinking it out themselves. Or a mixture of a few of these things. I chose to have a reading a bit like someone might go to a counsellor because as the other person is talking I can think about what s/he's saying and let my own responses help me see where I am at the time.

For all of that she was quite accurate. She said that I was ill and that there'd been a lot of stress in my life. She said that she thought I was moving and that I'd taken a long time. Yes, I had because of the illness but that it was all getting sorted out now. And she mentioned something that seemed very pertinent to the legal situation that I've mentioned. I spent about three quarters of an hour talking to her and I've got quite a lot to think about now. In some ways it's like building a bridge from my old life as it was before discovering that I have this illness and getting back on that old highway again. Not that I've been away that much really because, ill as I've been, I've still been doing things and life has still been making itself known in other ways other than learning how to cope with the illness as it is now. In some ways it's almost as if I've been in class exploring things from the safety of the flat and in my head rather than having to go out there to sort some of it out. A lot of it seems to've been along the lines of revision as well I guess.

I'm not really talking about it very clearly but that's because I'm not talking about events just the feeling that they left me with as they happened. I feel that once I'm back emersed in my interests again the other things will fit more into place. A lot of my mind is still caught up with dealing with the illness I suppose but that is changing and probably a lot quicker than it often would because I've tried to do other things as well.Not that it's been easy because this illness isn't easy.

I'm still very aware of what the other incidents have made me think about. And the person I was speaking to did pick up on what had been going through my mind and talked a little about it.

That's it then. I've done a bit more work around the flat today so am a bit nearer the move.